CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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