so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
