Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
