break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just cropdusted the office
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
