the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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