I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
