i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
