I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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