Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
