I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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