so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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