he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
