i think my mom watched the whole time
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she looked like the before picture.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
