those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
