...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize