I think I died a long time ago.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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