a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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