Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
