that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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