We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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