FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
