Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
please come you make the beer taste better
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
