Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
