There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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