their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
