So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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