im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
