i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
