I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
