wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
