i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
