You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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