Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
