3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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