I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
