absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
