everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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