My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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