But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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