Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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