When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm really busy with my period
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