My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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