I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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