Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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