i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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