I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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