I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
