Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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