i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
