so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
