Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
