My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You need a sexual gate keeper
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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