I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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