Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
