come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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