i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize