This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
