remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
