i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
