he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
