I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
