yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
