i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
