ya dads aren't the best wingmen
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize