btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How external is "for external use only"?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
