just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
