You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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