ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
