He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
