yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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