do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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