Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
