I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Houston, we have a squirter
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
