That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
