The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
