We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
