he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
