can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
